Doctor Jedi’s Blog
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.

I me and my i phone … AND BRANDLUST

I do not own an iphone. The iphone that I do not own is not black, nor is it white. It is not 3G nor is it 3GS. Its most likely a 3GI as per the onion’s take on it. Its screen is as blank as can be and never lights up when my friends call me from continents far far away. It also is the most non fingerprint smudged screen of all time, though I suspect that it has to do something with the fact that it doesnot really exist. What I dont love most about my i phone is the fact that I cannot do so many things with it apart from making a phone call. I mean, who in this day and age would even THINK of having a phone that does only that…make phone calls. Who would want a phone that cannot make you a cuppa tea or pour u a pint of beer. Not to mention all the medical apps that I cannot buy on the app store, cuz I do not have an i phone.Only with the   iphone can I do that … oh wait,I cannot really. But then mine is a NOT iphone rather than AN i phone…if u get my drift that is …

True, some of you will be surprised at the passage above. Others, like my brother and my wife … will not be. The fact of the matter is that I am obsessed with the i phone and my obsession knows no bounds. I will beg/borrow/steal the iphone off every friend who owns one to play the latest game that they have downloaded, or to marvel at the latest app they have bought off the app store. I will wander into every shop that has the iphone and will ooh and aah at those shiny little marvels of technology displayed so alluringly on the counters. I will dream about it … I will chat incessantly about it. I will even frikking blog about it. BUT NO!!! I will not buy one.

Why so???? the sane amongst you will ask. Why so indeed …


Now this might sound sanctimonious , but I dont buy it primarily cuz i dont need it even though I want it quite desperately. Its not easy, what with the phone being waved around in my face by every other friend that I do not have, but one thing does stand true … I do want it and its becoming a test of my will power more than anything else to keep my hands off it.

The tragic bit is that once ( and if) I do buy it, I will tend to lose all interest in it by the time the week is over. My present phone, I waited six months for it to be released into the market,and I still havent used half the features that it offers yet. Not to mention the fact that it is going to pieces already and has more bandages than the polytrauma patient I admitted to the unit the other night …

In this matter atleast, I personify the malady of the modern times. The short attention spans, the extremely limited shelf life of all consumables, the inability to hang on to a thought for a time span longer than half a second…and so on and so forth(did u get the pun here) . But atleast, I am recognising this as time goes by. Realising the toll this is taking on my wallet, and more importantly my soul.

We are NOT what we the consumerists would have us believe. On the contrary indeed …


And , one can interpret this slogan in two different ways.

In its superficial  form, this slogan is also indicative of the state of affairs of the modern individual. We are indeed what we do not buy. Because,what we do not have, and what we lust after, is what occupies our mind day in and day out. We are obsessed by the things that we do not have, and yet would want to have. The things that we do own or posess. their value passes into insignificance as soon as the contract of sale/purchase goes through. It is the allure of this BRANDLUST that keeps the economy running and the wheels of the money markets in motion …

But if you think about it at a deeper level, this slogan ( We are what we do not buy) can also be taken to mean something completely different. It can be used to identify the temptations that we have faced and resisted. A mark of character almost. It can be used to anti brand almost all that the capitalists throw at us, the carrots and the sticks that failed to have an effect. It can be the kernel of the revolution that will deliver all of us from the brandlust that enslaves us all.

It can be the come uppance to the gucci s and the burberry s and the hermes and the marc jacobs of the world. And the Apples too …

There is, however,  another take on all of this. A question haunts my mind. Is my angst against all of this BRANDLUST as I brand it, primarily a function of affordability … is it a case of  ” the grapes are sour cuz I cant have them” mentality. I was having this discussion regarding form vs function with a friend of my brothers recently.

He raised a question … if I had a million dollars/pounds as discretionary spending, would I then not go and buy these very things … as in i phones and burberrys and marc jacobs etc etc.  Perhaps I would … perhaps our needs and wants are determined by what we can afford and what we cannot afford. But in this statement lies the answer to primary question. There will always be things that we cannot afford yet want. There will be always that yatch, that mansion, that woman, that man who will be out of reach. And when on a materialistic scale, one truly has all an ordinary mortal can desire for, there will always be the need for that elusive ” peace of mind”. That desire for a restful sleep that michael jackson died in search for…

But perhaps that is generalising it a bit too far. Let me come back to the main topic of our discussion … me

Is my crusade against brandlust a function of my affordability. What levis was 5 years ago, burberry is today and maybe as I grow older and richer, burberry will come to transplant levis as a need rather than a want.

It is difficult, indeed, to answer this question … if only so cuz it is so relative. Relative to the situation, relative to the person and the thing being lusted after. The one thing, however, that would hold true at every level of this relativism is that it is never possible to have enough of what you do not need. And that is possibly cuz what you do not need will never ever satisfy you. ( …. PS – this book is by a mormon lady, and though I am a committed agnostic, I do think that some of the stuff in the scriptures makes quite a lot of sense …).

On that extremely holier than thou note, I shall take your leave. Until the next time that something of significance strikes me with a force enough to share it with all and sundry. Rest assured, if I do succumb to my desires in the near future, you guys will be the first to know of my fall from grace. I will post my admission of guilt .. and whats more, I will post it form my i phone … haha

Daswidania my dear readers … until we meet again …


14 Responses to “I me and my i phone … AND BRANDLUST”

  1. buy it! buy it! buy it! everyone has it!!! You don’t? HAW!

    • I am presuming madam rain is a proud owner of one then eh …

      and Mr. wet is asking madam rain for a contribution … though one wonders how difficult might it be for rain to contribute some of her inherent attributes da …

      that was on a complete tangent though …

  2. I don’t have one ! and i always get these annoying facebook feeds say xxyyy has installed the FB application for iPhone/Blackberry.
    Maybe you can start a “donate me an iphone fund” it is a noble cause 😛

  3. Hahaha, I don’t have one (and probably won’t get one), but the pain and agony of the blogger makes him deserve one

  4. jeesussss….i think ive had it …i will buy you and Iphone and u being u will ask me to return it and then ill buy you another one ..this will continue n times.. and then one day you will give up…

  5. an* ..

  6. you dont need it, you should not buy it.

  7. i had mine stolen :((
    by a 11 yr old…

    • how do u know…we never got to chatting about that incident at all …
      btw, i did want to say gbye before we left … but basically got tired of waiting … in the sense, that we had nothing else to do and were just waiting for u to come back frm work. And then the hecticness of life and unpacking caught up. How r u doin, and ur friends. And more importantly … WHEN IS THE HOUSE WARMING PARTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEaaahhhhhHHHH!!!!!

  8. * “palandu na munchati swiyam gunam” they say in sanskrit…..which can also be interpreted both ways i.e. the ability of a onion to leave its odour wherever its kept ,or conversely, to not leave its inherent trait/odour no matter in what conditions its placed. I say your having the best that an Iphone has to offer, vicariously :). Reminds me of the days Sony Walkman changed the way we heard our music (and look at it now!!).

    Walkman Article from BBC:

  9. Please, can you PM me and tell me few more thinks about this, I am really fan of your blog…

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