Doctor Jedi’s Blog
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.

“Those who cannot learn from history are condemned to repeat it” OR “My culinary misadventures”

And yet again today we had the privilege of paying money to eat food that turned out to be fatty,greasy, unhealthy to say the least and horribly overpriced at that. The said place  was situated on the terraces of a reputed harbor town and ranked highly on internet reviews that I checked before going there to sacrifice my hard earned money on some lunch (the after effects of which are being felt even now.)

The head hurts, physically and emotionally at this recurring pattern in my life now. Go out to yet another “reputed” restaurant, order some decent sounding food and balk at the utter rubbish that gets served in some of these places.

Three days ago, I was thinking the same thing.  These thoughts pass through my head at least 10 times a month and yet so addicted I am to eating out, that I cannot stop myself forever living in the  perpetual hope that the next meal at the next restaurant will be the best one of my life. Its not that there is no food at home. Many times it has happened that the wife has cooked a perfectly decent meal at home and yet we have gone out to some place or the other to satisfy our insatiable culinary desires.

These experiences have led me to think about this phenomena of modern westernised existence. Of “eating out”. This outsourcing of the most domestic  and sacred of all civilised activities. The preparation of food.

A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, food was cooked at home. The woman of the house would cook for the entire family. Or if you were rich enough, the cooks would do it for you. And then you would sit around the table or even in front of the TV and partake the meal over conversation with your significant others.

But this simple model is no longer enough for modern existence. Dal Rotti ( Lentils and pancakes for my non indian readers) is no longer enough to satisfy the gustatory impulses of generation Y ( yours  truly included).

The ethical and moral pros and cons of the situation, I will leave for the experts to debate.

What troubles me the is that while most of the capitalist model works in the favour of the consumer, this business of eating out is heavily biased against us. While one wouldnt think twice about returning a faulty piece of electronics or a dress that doesnt really fit or turns out to be somehow not up to the mark, its very difficult to return a dish that you do not find appeasing to the tastes. Its a seperate matter if you find it teeming with human hair or rat faeces, but I find returning a cooked dish to the kitchen something that I m loathe to do.(Perhaps this stems from the ethic instilled in me by my parents to eat whatever was served at the table)

One can try clothes on before you buy them. Every thing else comes with a guarantee of statuory rights. Perhaps restuarant food does too, but I cant really go back to this place tomorrow and demand repayment of my bill just because I was feeling queasy all night.I certainly cannot return whatever is left of their food to them either as tempting as it might be to take a dump at their door step.

Perhaps this is the reason why people partake alcohol before the meal in most restaurants… to dull the effect of what is going to follow.Add to this all the butter/margarine the cooks put in their food to make it more palatable and what you are left with is an ever increasing midsection and an ever dissatisfied hypothalamus. A Sisyphean feeling rolling the rock uphill knowing full well that satisfaction, far from being guaranteed is unattainable.

As you can tell, dear readers, I am a thoroughly dissatisfied man today. Disappointed as well, at my inability to stay away from these places much as I hate them now. Maybe, tomorrow will bring a new dawn with a wizened Mr and Mrs Doctorjedi deciding to forego their thrice weekly foray into the world of restaurants. Or maybe, just maybe, they will find that elusive hidden gem, that pot at the end of the rainbow serving food that will taste like manna from heaven.

And wonders will never cease. And men will live in peace with each other. And with their own selves as well.

Amen.

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